the sunset

April 4, 2013 – Charles Lijauco “the sunset”

Tonight, I went outside after I finished a film. I don’t know, I have no intention or whatsoever I just want to go outside and breathe fresh air since everybody in the house was outside, outside meaning far away from home, but me. So I stood there, about 5 meters away from the back of our house and 5 meters away from the wall that separates our place to the woods. I looked up and I saw two colors, one blue and one orange, and I’m sorry but I’m not that good with colors so I have no other words or name, just orange; then call it sunset orange. I found myself looking up for like 3 minutes. I saw it. With my eyes I saw it, the sunset it is. And the sunset for me is not just all about the sun going down, for I also heard the sound of the birds chirping, sound of the cold summer breeze touching my face and moving the strands of my hair; I saw them, the trees were dancing, bats were flying and birds are all over the place, maybe playing or something – but the thing here is I saw them. I saw life. This time I realized that all that I needed was to go outside and see the world, the paradise that we’ve taken for granted. That in here, or there we can see balance – balance in life. That even though there are wars happening in Korea and Afghanistan, that people are killing each other for pride or just because they can’t understand each other; even though there are couples breaking up, parents still working for their children, people who are spending there money in Las Vegas or Macau, that there are people that would rather sleep early because they’re hungry than stay up to watch how the sun sets, it would still go down, yes the sun would still go down. The trees would continue on dancing and the birds would still fly, as I’m writing this. It’s life, I realized. The beauty would just never stop just because people are struggling. And that’s wonderful, especially for the people who would want to see the sunset, the wonder, the life.

April 4, 2013 – Charles Lijauco “the sunset”

Now I’m ready to see the moon.

the letter that I would never send

Hey. Yes, it’s me. You might be wondering why am I writing to you or whatever but I just want to, or maybe I need to. I’ve been seeing you for as long as I can remember but I never had the chance nor the guts to ever try to talk to you or start a small conversation or something. It’s not that I’m shy or anything close to that, it’s just that I don’t want to waste your time and my time talking about nonsense and trying to figure out where small talks could lead us. Maybe I’m scared that I would annoy you, but that’s not the main reason. Not at all. So here, I just wrote this letter for you. Well, it would be great if you’d take some time reading the next few sentences. Alright here we go.

So why did I wrote this letter. Okay, please don’t assume that this, this shit is a love letter because it’s not. You won’t see any “oh goodness you’re so amazing please be mine”. No, not that kind. This letter, is created to let you know that I’m amused by your existence. Well, basically I’m amused by everyone else’s existence and stories. But about this amusement, I want to know you better. I find you interesting. I find you fascinating. I find the little things that you do strange yet still cute. This letter was to let you know that not everyone sees you the way you think they see you. That you’re worth more than that, we’re more than all the judgments and words that they throw at us. Most of all, I find you original. 

But then I realized, all these things – these things that I’ve said and wrote, they’re not really you, instead they’re me. It’s not how you show yourself but how I see you – how I want to see you. I see you as this and that, but really, I know nothing. I don’t know what you’re doing when you’re staying late at night. I don’t know the reasons behind your smiles, if they’re real or not. And I think I was being unfair, all these times I was. I judged you before I even knew you. 

No words. When I finally summed up all these ideas, no words.

But I’m hoping, that soon I would be able to write about you. How you sleep, laugh, smile, cry and what are your favorite books and how much you love pizza. I want to. And I hope that I would be given the chance to know you better, so that next time, I would have the words, the real ones, to at least define your amusing existence. 

 

A Broken String | Final PE Class | Oh so Random

I created this post to relieve the stress that I feel inside my head. Or my brain. Last two weeks before the summer break! WHAT TO EXPECT! Okay now, calm down me and you. I can feel the tense inside. Chill. (But how can I chill if I have exams this week and final exams next week. So chill yaah face, dear blogger.. and that’s me.)

So I was playing my guitar, and singing, while recording at the same time, when suddenly my 3rd string made a wonderful sound that made the song even better than ever! And yes, I was shocked because I thought my G-string would never leave me, I was wrong. LESSON: Don’t expect and assume you fools. Or me fool. And the wonderful thing about this experience is that everything was recorded – from my beautiful singing to the “I GIVE UP” sound of the G-string. So I was kidding when I said beautiful singing, never mind. Then I came up with the idea to play the instrument without the broken string, and guess what, I ate a slice of pizza! What no, I mean it didn’t sound great, of course. LESSON: Every piece is important! Grandma and grandpa should know this. Unfortunate.

dasfdfgjh7kj87j7687l8l89;8;8;  - fasedfgewrvg – TIME TRAVEL!

FINAL PE CLASS! After years of sweating (and watching people go crazy), I would finally have my last class in physical education. I would surely miss all the fun and games… and prizes… and medals and trophies given, not in our PE class. LESSON: Sometimes you’ll miss things and people that were/are never yours. Oh can you feel it! (YES! No more wearing of the annoying jogging pants.) But really, I would miss PE – the only subject when and where I can relax and laugh at others freely. I kidddd.

And about the Oh so Random. Nothing.

Thoughts

“I’m about to talk to you. Here, I’m coming. Oh no. No. No. I realized I don’t want to annoy you. Maybe right now, you’re busy or something; but even if you’re not, I still won’t talk to you. I feel like I’ve annoyed you for so many times now. But just you know, it kills me every time I have to stop myself from talking to you. If I could just.. Ugh. Never mind. Maybe next time? Or maybe not. Or never.”

- March 5

“That feeling of yes, I want to write something, but I just can’t seem to put the right words together. In my head they’re perfect – all words in their proper places making sense; but outside my head when I’m trying to write them down, no words. I have words, but they’re not perfect; therefore, I’m not pleased. Oh please words, let me write you down so everything would be alright.”

- March 5

 

Valentine’s Day Special: Against All Odds

For the past weeks, I’ve been thinking of a good idea for my Valentine’s Day Special. I was thinking about defining love, and all its components or whatever. But I just don’t feel like it. I mean, for once I don’t want to pretend that I know everything about it – when in real life, I don’t.. want to stop eating pizza. I’m so random.

So last February 12, 2013, my brother and his girlfriend celebrated their 2nd Year Anniversary through the Internet (via Skype). Why? Long-Distance Relationship, sir. And if someone out there needs a great story, then their story would just exceed your expectations. The boy is from the Philippines; the girl is from London. Gotta hate the distance but gotta love the trust, loyalty and real love inside it. Great job, brother. Great job.

I would like to share this video that my sweet brother made for her girlfriend:

I’m not here to tell how they met. I’m not here to tell their struggles. But I’m here to tell everyone that in whatever form, whatever situation, and/or whatever distance that separates people, it/they cannot be a major/sufficient reason to easily give up on someone you love. If you love someone, then break through the walls and reach for the moon.

No matter what, fight for it. Giving up and letting someone go would never be the first option – but they would always be there, waiting at the second position.

It’s amazing, how people can create different love stories – from a long-distance relationship, loser-guy-and-a-popular-girl, badass-man-and-a-sweet-girl, rich-guy-and-a-poor-girl to many others. We’re different in many ways, our personalities are unique – and so our love stories.

Life is awesome. And it’s AWESOME-R with love at the center of it. Oh it’s nice to feel inspired. Happy Valentine’s Day!

 

Something from my 2/10/13

Funny how we treat other people as miracles-slash-kings-and-queens-of-the-concrete-jungle and all that. We see someone with the face of an angel, which in any case is impossible because we haven’t really seen an angel in real life, and we start treating them as someone unreachable and we put them in the pedestal. Like “Oh my gosh she’s so beautiful that her personality doesn’t even matter. She’s my queen! Yes, instantly.”. Maybe, just maybe, we should start seeing people as people and not miracles and someone as high as the sky and as far as the moon. Maybe we should start treating everyone as ordinary people who also feels the same thing as we do, eats the same foods as we do, of course drinks the same water as we do, and most specially, gets hurt and problems as we get them Every. Single. Time. All these and more. By these things, I think we can avoid many complications. Like we can now be sensitive enough that everybody needs the love and attention the same that we do. That they would sometimes feel like we only like people because we see them as queens and kings, not as themselves. Maybe, just maybe.

And it’s called…

You set everything about the perfect girl and how she should be nice, smart and not like the others who would flirt all day. But suddenly, all these preparations and dreaming would be ‘garbage’ because you would meet a girl that was nowhere from your expectations. It’s crazy. You think you’re too smart and you will never be fooled by such a girl; but no, that’ll never be the case, because you’ll fall. And before you even know it, you’ve fallen into a trap and you must find your way to get out of it. You created the trap and became the victim of it. It’s a matter of choosing whether you would take a risk and continue on with the trap or be careful enough to try and find your way out of it. Either way, you’ll learn and grow up. The thing is, if ever you’ll survive the fall and get out of it, make sure you’ll never make the same mistake again. Because if you do, then you didn’t learn from the past. You just stayed with the trap and got out of it to fall again to the same shit. People can be stupid. Even the smartest ones can be stupid. We can all be stupid when it comes to dealing with love. How I wish, that you would be smart enough to know what’s right from wrong – what’s worth the risk and what’s not – and most especially, what do you want most or what do you need most. Well, that’s tough, and it must be – because it wouldn’t be an integral part of life if it wasn’t or if it would not be.