“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our social gathering where no “social climbers” or poor people are allowed. We are the best from all these creatures and therefore let us eat all our cash! Uhm, reminders, don’t forget to pay the bills before you leave so that our servants would have something in their wallets; let’s have some mercy fellas!” Uhh, tired of the same rulers in the society. Some of those who are on top of the world, enjoying their money, and driving nice cars, just don’t care about the welfare of those who are in need anymore, as if they did in the past. But don’t worry, I have in me the best solutions to your problems! Don’t worry, I’m here to share the secrets to be rich and famous just like those good-looking-because-of-big-wallets people! Yey, I’m sure you’re so excited to know them, right? Alright, let’s start.
5) ENTER SHOWBIZ! Are you one of those good-looking-without-even-a-single-or-perhaps-two-talents in your arsenal? Then you’re into it! Look, just use your smile and get the sympathy of those who are obsessed to beautiful faces! I’m sure you’ll be a big hit because fans will scream! “Oh my, that girl/guy is so pretty/handsome, I wanna marry her (and leave her/him when she/he gets ugly)! You know they like you because of your face, lucky you. Don’t worry, “talent” managers nowadays are willing to sacrifice their breakfast, lunch, 2nd lunch, and dinner for you! They would teach you how to
dougie sing, dance, act, and be liked by many people (tho you’re already liked because of your pretty annoying face)! Congratulations to you! You now belong to this élite group of people! Enjoy earning money! Don’t try hard, because as they say, the ugly is the one who must try harder. You’re so fortunate that you’d have a year or two to make your career blossom and earn cold cash like never before!
TIP/S: Join a reality show, or appear in a ____ show. Good luck!
4) ENTER POLITICS! Oh Geez, here we go. This is probably one of the most effective ways to get some more money in your pocket (you need 514 pockets for these bucks, trust me, I counted them). But you know it ain’t easy to enter in this “profession”, you’ll need a lot of those so-called
friends-because-you’re-a-politician true friends to lean on and to help you in the campaign. You’d have to spend more than a million for the campaign period, but if you have been nice to your constituents since last year, then half-a-million would do it for you. What’s the lesson to spend less during the election? Impress them by doing something good; don’t show bad manners! The real richness would come the time you’ve won the election! So now you’re ready to corrupt the municipal fund! No one can stop you now! Not even your Vice or assistant because he/she’s the same as you! Of course, your constituents, let’s not forget them! Build some establishments, sidewalk benches, waiting-sheds and others to be able to give back, but don’t forget to put your name in there for the next elections! Oh so lucky, good luck on multiplying your capital for that job!
TIP/S: Be sure that you’ll be under a strong party. It’ll help you.. or maybe not.
3) CASINO & LOTTERY, BABY!
Waste your money here! Try your luck here! Who knows, maybe you’re the next millionaire! Alright, you’re working 6 to 8 hours in a day to earn your daily wage/salary with their corresponding OT pays/bonuses. And you know, it’s so, so, so, so practical to spend 5 to 7 percent of it on sweepstakes! Yes that’s right, you might be the next owner of a big house in an exclusive village, but now you’re still a loser for them. Oh never mind lottery, we have casinos! You can see so many casinos here and everywhere! You don’t have to go to Vegas or to Macau just to waste spend your money! In every hotels here, we have casinos! Play some cards, dice, and place some chips over there and maybe you’d be the one that they’re looking for! You might just take home x10 or more of your placed money! I’m so excited for that one! Then if you win that, place that for bet again! Don’t stop until you don’t have enough of money to go home and feed your children! In a casino, you would not only earn money! You’d also earn enemies friends (choose the rich right one)! Oh, there is nothing more exciting than wasting your money to feed the greedy!
TIP/S: Learn to give some bonuses to those people who supported you during the fight/play; especially those who are behind your back.
2) FOOL OTHER PEOPLE! There is nothing more heartwarming than seeing your colleagues go down and beg to your knees! Now that’s inspiring! You could be a big time
illegal recruiter who would demand some money to clients to work on their horrible future papers! Don’t forget to give them your kind words, how sincere. If you don’t like that one, then maybe you’d like to scam other people! There are many ways to scam other people but I don’t know any (innocent guy right here). The best way of fooling other people to be rich? Force them to be drug dealers. Ow so dirty right? But no! They would like to be caught by the police and later end up being jailed and all that. And you? You’ll just be sitting there behind the big walls guarded by men in their black ( for funeral) Armani suit. As they say, learn to control people and you’d be successful! Oyeah, you have it right there and all that we need is for your little smart brain to go on working. Continue being nice to them!
1) BE SINCERE. I don’t like to break the humor out of this but I just need to point out my point (what????). I’ve been an observer of this society. I saw so many things that perhaps triggered me to write something about the reality we are in. It’s so undeniable that there are only a few rich people there who can understand the cry of those who are under the triangle. They can hear those “enough is enough” but I don’t think they can help them “enough”. You know why? Because many of those who are on top just care about themselves. They are the ones who are insulting the poor. They don’t want the less fortunate to mingle with them, for they call them “social climbers” once they did. I even saw someone tweeted that BLACKBERRY should have a price increase so the poor won’t be able to afford it. So what now? You’re cool because of that? Go eat your Blackberry and even your Apple, then can you do me a favor? Please hit your head in a concrete wall and wake up. I believe that there is still time for you to change; a chance to make everything right and serve our countrymen. We are being fooled by the spark of those money that we forgot the true meaning or richness. We stopped enjoying time with our families because we are too busy expanding our financial resources. If you’re happy now, then good, but how about tomorrow? Would you be?
I believe, more than anything else, that to reach the success, you must be sincere on what you are doing. Make sure that you like what you are doing and you’d be happy at the end. As Mr. Eleanor Roosevelt said, ”Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product.” and so it is. We must do our thing each and everyday and see if we would be happy at the end of everything that we’ve done. Success, for me, is not about the money or the status in life, but it is how you made yourself and someone happy.
TIP/S: Have a great life. Grow up. Change for the better and hope for the best results. Do your thing each and every day. Be concern. Be sincere. Pray to God. And as I always say, SPREAD THE LOVE!
Congratulations, now you’re rich.
I’m selling a house in Vegas. Tweet me for details. Okay, just kidding.
Feel free to tweet me anytime: https://twitter.com/#!/charleslijauco
God Bless Us All!